Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Webster (No, not the dictionary)

A teen aged boy stumbled into the road, and, as if he couldn't take another step, he sat down and wept bitterly. A car hurtling towards him tried to stop, but the front hit him, knocking him flat on the cold asphalt. His head throbbed with pain as he lay, crying his heart out, underneath the oily engine of a Toyota Hybrid. A car door slammed and a man knelt over him, 'Are you alright?' 
The man scooped him up in his arms and repeated the question, louder this time.
Feebly he shook his head 'no' and went limp in the man's arms.
'Oh my God!' a woman screamed.
'Somebody call an ambulance for this boy!' The man yelled at the forming crowd.
Several people grabbed their phones and dialed 911.
Minutes later an ambulance, sirens wailing, sped down the road and skid to a halt in front of the man holding the boy. He was lifted onto a stretcher and put in the back of the ambulance and rushed to the hospital.
The ambulance driver and his assistant wheeled him into the emergency room, where a doctor surveyed the damage. The teen had a concussion, and would need to stay at the hospital for a day or two. The doctor order a nurse to wake him and keep him awake.
'Marsha,' the doctor said to his secretary, 'I'm going on lunch break, I want you to get this boy's parents up here before I get back, understood?'
'Yes, sir.' the young woman replied.
When the doctor got back from his lunch break he asked Marsha, 'Where are his parents?'
'Well, Mr.Collins, the boy doesn't seem to be registered.' Marsha said.
'Oh? That's odd.... I'll go ask the boy who he is then.' The doctor said, and strode off.
The boy was awake when Dr.Collins entered the room.
'Good afternoon, son, are you feeling any better?'
Instead of answering the boy stared at him with reddened eyes.
'What's your name, son?'
'I'm not your son.'
'Do you have a name, boy?'
The boy's face clouded and his brow furrowed. 'I don't know.'
'Why, everyone's got a name! What's yours?' the doctor pressed.
'Why do you wanna know?' The boy muttered darkly.
'Because you've been in an accident and we need to summon your parents.'
'I'm an orphan.'
'Oh? What orphanage do you stay at?'
'I don't.'
'Come, come, you must have a name, what is it?'
The boy sighed, ' You can call me Webster.'
'Webster? Sounds like a last name.. Do you have a first name, Webster?'
'No, it's just Webster.'
'Alright, Webster, you'll be here for a while, your body needs rest and treatment after that accident... How old are you?'
'Seventeen.' Webster said.
'Hmmm... Well you get some sleep, Webster and I'll check your wound tomorrow.'
'Marsha, look up Webster in all our files, will you?' the doctor asked.
'Will do, Dr.Collins.'
The next morning Dr.Collins went strait to the secretary's desk, 'Well?' he asked.
'No Websters matches his description, sir. Oh and your late for an appointment.'  Marsha said. 'Which room?' he asked.
'Room 385, Mr.Langton.' 
The doctor stomped off without so much as a 'Thank you' to Marsha.
A cocky looking young man strode up and asked Marsha, 'Which room is Webster in?'
'Are you a relative?'
'We are relatively close.'
'Come on, doll, let a guy see his friend.' the man pleaded.
'Alright, he's in room 386.' Marsha said.
'Thanks a million, cutie.' the man smiled at Marsha and strode off down the hall.
'Knock, knock.' The young man said as he entered room 386.
'Hello, Webster.'
Webster stared at the man levelly but his eyes portrayed a frightened light.
'What do want, Thompson?'
'Mr.G wants you back at base, now.'
'Look, I finished the mission and I'm hurt, I need some time off.' Webster said.
'No, you're coming with me.'  Thompson said coolly, grabbing Webster by the arm and dragged him out of bed.
'Say goodbye to rest, friend, it's time to work.' Thompson pulled Webster out into the hallway and shoved him into a wheelchair.
'Who are you? And where are you taking that patient?' Dr.Collins asked stepping out of room 385.
'We just got back from a stroll out in the courtyard, right Webster?' Thompson asked.
'Yeah, right.' Webster muttered.
'Well, I was going to give him a check up so I'll wheel him back to his room now.' Doctor Collins said, taking hold of the back of the wheel chair.
 Thompson smiled wickedly, 'We'll continue our chat later. See ya around, Webster.'
'What was that all about?' asked Dr.Collins once they were in Websters room.
'You don't expect me to believe that, do you? When he said, See ya around, it sounded like a threat. Who was that?'
'So, do you and everyone you know go by last names?'
'Something like that.'
'It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that that man has evil intentions, so, either you tell me all about yourself and I'll help you, or I'll get the police involved.
Which one will it be, Webster?'
Webster sighed and said, 'I'll tell you, but if I do you've gotta swear not to get anyone else involved. Deal?'
'Sure thing, Webster.' Dr.Collins agreed.
'Ok, every name in the project is a last name, so that we cannot be traced or linked to anything or anyone. Now, I can't tell you who is in the project, but the project itself I can, and it's a miserable business. We lie, cheat, steal, even kill, if necessary, to put Mr.G on top. It's sorta like the mob, fighting to keep one man in power... it's nasty work. And I wanted out of it. After this last mission I tried to resigned, but Mr.G said he couldn't let me go, so I quit. Of course he hated that, thought I crossed him and was working for somebody else... He ruined my life. He killed everyone close to me, he crushed every asset I could have used...
And now he wants me back....' he sighed and said, 'That's why I cried in the middle of the road.'
'Oh.... I'm so sorry, Webster... The only way for me to help you is to involve the police-' Dr.Collins began.
'Then I don't want your help, Doc.' Webster got out of bed and took his clothes from the nightstand, he slipped his jeans on under his hospital gown then pulled the gown on and put on his t-shirt. 'Gimme my shoes and I'm outta here.'
'There under the bed, Webster.'
Webster pulled on his Toms and walked to the door, he hesitated and turned around, 'Hey, Doc, my name is David.'


  1. Pretty good and taut. Watch the cliches: cried his heart out? Evil intentions? etc.

  2. Gripping read - I easily read through it to the end!

  3. The story here is very good. In just a short time you made me care about what happened to the characters, and want to see the end.
    I noticed something you might want to change:
    It's not standard practice anymore to keep a person with a head injury awake. Most doctors say that it is fine, even good, for someone with a head injury to sleep, and be monitored with medical instruments that they would certainly have, being still in the hospital.

    The other thing that I noticed is not as a writer, but as a Christian. As followers of Jesus, everything that we do should be centered on Him. Whatever we write should bring our readers closer to Him. When I read this, I cared about the characters, and so the end left me feeling empty. I left with a hole in my heart because the end of this has no redemption. Redemption is what our lives are about, because Christ redeemed us, and that should be reflected in our writing. God is the Author of our lives. The stories of His children may get dark at times; it may shake the audience to the core, but at the end, it always has redemption.

    Every story has a life that needs to point to Jesus. Everything that will be read affects the audience.

    Stories can affect people massively, even short stories. What we as Christian authors need to ask ourselves is, will this point someone to God, or will they walk away feeling lost and empty?

    Everything that I've said here is not to harm. I've said this to improve your writing. I have had people in my life who God used to show me how to do something better, be it write, or something else, and if they had not stepped up I would not have learned some of the things I have. I know that God can use you to touch the hearts of the lost through your writing: that's why I've posted all of this. I do hope that it will be helpful.
    Keep writing.

  4. Thank you for your comment and advice, Athelas!
    God is very important to me, He inspires me in everything I do, even if the main characters are Christians. I still try to be a Christian, even though others don't, many people don't know God, and don't understand the emptiness they feel, but I do, and I appreciate your advice, once again, thank you.